100 Favorite Movies

During the Spring of 2012, I wrote a script.  During the writing of that script, I procrastinated by making Top Ten Film lists by year from 1989-2011.  I'd write down every film I'd seen that year and then begin the difficult process of ranking them.  Once that was done and I still had a little ways to go on the script, I sought to make a list of things I'd keep in my wheel house, which gradually turned into a city-sized barn house.  

The chief form of my procrastination during the writing process has generally been in the form of penning these lists,  and I guess nowadays with this blog.  So, it makes sense to combine the two sometimes.  My favorite movies list is something I've been working on for a long time now and is something I don't think I'll ever be able to quantify.  It will probably always remained unfinished, growing, and evolving.  Nonetheless, I'd like to share my 100 favorite movies at this moment in honor of this 100th blog post.

25th Hour

28 Days Later

40 Year Old Virgin

About a Boy

Almost Famous

American Beauty

American Graffiti 

American Pie

American President

American Psycho

American Werewolf in London

Animal House

Annie Hall

The Apartment

Apocalypse Now

Back to School

Before Sunset

The Big Chill

Bridge on the River Kwai

Casa Blanca

City Slickers

Clear and Present Danger

A Clockwork Orange

Conan the Destroyer

Crimes and Misdemeanors

Dazed and Confused

Deliverance

Dial M For Murder

Die Hard 1-2

Donnie Darko

Drag Me to Hell

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

The Exorcist

Eyes Wide Shut

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

A Few Good Men

Forrest Gump

Goodfellas

Godfather 1-2

Halloween

Happy Gilmore

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Inception

Independence Day

Indiana Jones Trilogy

Inside Llewyn Davis

It's a Wonderful Life

Jaws

Jerry Maguire

Jurassic Park

The Karate Kid

Kill Bill Volume 1-2

The Last Picture Show

The Lion King

Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers

Lost in Translation

Magnolia

Manchurian Candidate

Meet Joe Black

Meet the Parents

Million Dollar Baby

Minority Report

My Cousin Vinny

Mysterious Skin

Out of the Past

The Outsiders

Pink Floyd's The Wall

Point Break

Pulp Fiction

Quiz Show

The Reader

Road to Perdition

Road Trip

The Rock

Rocky 1,3,4

Rosemary's Baby

Rushmore

Sabrina

Say Anything

Scent of a Woman

Schindler's List

Scream

Shadow of a Doubt

Sideways

Signs

The Silence of the Lambs

Silver Linings Playbook

Stand By Me

Star Wars Trilogy

Superbad

Talk to Her

Taxi Driver

The Ten Commandments

Terminator 1-2

Titanic

Trouble in Paradise

Unforgiven

Up

Up in the Air

Vertigo

Virgin Suicides

What About Bob

When Harry Met Sally

Y Tu Mama Tambien

Holiday Card Cheer

Dear Holiday Cards,

I have a theory that if I ceased with a forward line of communication, somewhere in between ninety and ninety-five percent of the people in my bubble would disappear. I’d never hear from them again…with the exception of maybe some bullshit holiday card (you) guised with warmth.  I’ve tested out that theory a few times over the years with a one hundred percent success rate…or failure rate depending on how you look at the world.  Some of this might be natural, after all, it's impossible to maintain friendships with every person who comes in and out of life, but there are a few people who have meant a great deal to me who have slunk away even as I attempted to water the metaphorical plants emblemizing our growing relationships.  Those plants have withered and I’m finally content to let them die.  I’m by no means a fatalist, but I think my assessment of the self-seeking nature of humanity here is a fair and accurate one. People are vampiric in nature.  Draining whatever others have to offer for their own  needs.  Dispersing warmth from time to time just to ensure blood stays warm enough for  potential future needs.  Hence the bullshit look how awesome we’re doing holiday cards dispelled year in and year out  that are neither proceeded or followed by visits, phone calls, emails, or texts. “Oh isn’t that nice,  Billy Mahoney* was thinking of me,” you might think.  But you shouldn’t think that.  Especially since you called up Billy a few months ago and he never called you back. Wait, weren’t you supposed to meet up with Billy last year and he cancelled. You should send Billy his card back instructing him to keep save his warm wishes.  That’s too cold though, right?  Well, cold is the temperature of consideration.  This holiday season, give yourself a gift and don’t  cipher your own heat to light someone else’s fake fireplace. 

Sincerely,

Derek Needam,

Nobody’s Grinch

*The Creepy Dead Kid haunting Kiefer Southerland in Flatliners

Rescinding Thank You's

On this first Thursday of December, one week following the fourth and final Thursday of November, otherwise known as Thanksgiving, I'd like to take the time to vaguely rescind many of the thank you's I've unnecessarily bestowed over the years.  Thank you's I unintentionally bartered for that were apparently conceived with expectation.  They've gone to unhealthily breed and grow into a cumbersome debt on my conscience. So, I unhinge myself from those thankful favors that were not given, but loaned.  For friendship and love that was committed only to be cooly taken away.  For hope that was bought, sold, and traded like a stock.  For fortune that shackled me with pity. I declare my thank you's null and void.

A 30-Something's Christmas List

Now that Jewish Christmas* is over and with Christ's Christmas less than three weeks away, St. Nick is in the final preparations for his annual assault upon chimneys and Oreo cookies across the continental United States** to celebrate American consumerism.  This of course begs the question,  have you made your Christmas list yet?  Now I know this tradition is generally confined to those miniature prisons run by an elaborate system of bells and halfway houses where the inmates must eat all of their vegetables to get a dessert, but ageism shall not be tolerated within the mighty institution of this blog.  Thus, it's no surprise that a Thirtysomething Lost Boy from LA just emailed me the adult oriented Christmas list he plans to mail to the North Pole later today...

Abs:  Santa, get your fucking tracksuit on because this year the lost boy would like some personal training sessions that revolve around strengthening his core via biomechanically efficient stabilization techniques and dynamic stretches.

Car Detail:  Maybe his parents were onto something when they wouldn't let him scarf down food in the car because now he just wants those embarrassing coffee stains to disappear from the seat cushion.

Cleaning Lady:  Living amidst rancorous squalor was once considered a form of rebellious freedom. Who was he fooling? Throw in a carpet cleaning too, please.  

Dog Walker:  Yes, he might have wished for a puppy once upon a time.  Now, he just doesn't feel like dealing with it on a daily basis as an adult.  

Grocery Gift Certificate:   Fuck video games and stereo equipment, dudes gotta eat.  He's partial to Trader Joe's and Whole Foods.  

Health Insurance: Who would have thought the boy who was once miraculously cured by the mention of a doctor's visit would like to be able to see a specialist for a reasonable fee?

A Suit (Black): He has a gray one already, but awareness is setting in that going to any forthcoming funeral might be a bit awkward for him without this wardrobe essential.

*Gift giving during Hanukkah wasn't always customary. It originates from the influence of Christmas.

**Santa doesn't visit Alaska, Hawaii, or Puerto Rico until after New Years.  It's just not logistically possible without incurring overtime fees for the reindeer and elves. Sorry, E kala mai iaʻu, y lo siento.

Fulfillment Vs. Happiness Vs. The Alchemist

Every so often a book comes along for people who don't normally read. A book for faux dilettantes with advanced degrees surprisingly capable of literacy beyond the buttery verbiage of US Weekly.  A book to be recommended, no not recommended, but gifted with the erect tinge of self-satisfied heroism.  A book to be showcased amidst a select mountain of accomplishments that is the mantle of the Facebook Wall.   Not too long ago, that book was The Alchemist, a clever little self-help book masquerading as an allegorical novel written by the Brazilian author, Paulo Coelho.

There are two ideas I remember most in this book, that I too read seven or eight years ago, and have confirmed today via the advanced research technique of glancing through The Alchemist Wikipedia page.  First, when a person sets out on a goal, a truly noble goal that is, defined by the innocence of unsullied childhood aspiration, "the universe conspires in helping you achieve it." Good to know right?  The second passage I vaguely remember but of course looked up to bestow validity in my prose is, "Love never keeps a man from pursuing his Personal Legend.  If he abandons that pursuit, it's because it wasn't true love."  Together these two quotes not only form the foundation for "having it all" happy endings, but for a fulfilling existence.  If you set out on a path, you will achieve it, and find love via a process of elimination that could never get in the way of your destiny.    Fulfillment in life, happiness in love.  Bullshit on the heels of the protagonist shepherd's bare feet.

Forgive me if I sound somewhat dour in my return to blogging, I suffer from undiagnosed bouts of futility that most likely only new episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm could cure. But in all seriousness,  my somber tone is a result of an intense regimen of writing, my alleged destiny and path to fulfillment...that certainly isn't bringing me any happiness.  There have been road blocks along the way, intermittent stops where fleeting droplets of joy rained down on me, but during those times fulfillment was merely the illusion of rusted metal reflecting gold.  No one ever asked me to cease with my journey on their behalf, so by Alchemy standards, true love was upon me.  And yet,  I continue on my Personal Legend alone.   It's one or the other, I firmly believe.  Perhaps being truly fulfilled will bring a sense of happiness.  But that would be neglecting the gold shed along the way to find a different kind of treasure.